Blessed Are the Freaks

If you've seen Donnie Darko (which if you haven't, what the hell! Go get the Director's cut like, right now!), you're familiar with the theory that fear is the opposite of love: And if you've read Luther's Small Catechism (which if you haven't... well, I understand. You still should, but I understand), you're familiar with the theory that they are very related. In it, Luther breaks down the Ten Commandments as ways we simultaneously both demonstrate our fear of and love for God. Lately, I've listened a bit to Father Mike Schmitz, and while I don't find everything he says to be particularly enlightening or relevant to me or true, there's one video that has stood out: Trusting God's plan for me has been difficult, because I've always harbored a fear that submitting to God's will, that fully loving God and fully accepting that I am loved by God, will lead me to become a different person. The kind of person I don't like. ...

I've always thought I was good at radical love, the Jesus brand of love for the "least of these". After all, I've always been close with those on the outskirts, the losers and nerds, the stoners and goths. It's only recently that I've realized how hypocritical this is. It's no more radical to love my fellow outcasts than it is for the "normal" person to love their fellow everyman. For me, embracing the titles of freak, weirdo, outcast, stranger, Jesus-like love means opening my heart to those least like me. Conservative men in suits. Anti-abortion protesters. Christians preaching messages condemning my fellow queers. That kind of love isn't easy for me, and that's what makes it radical. I look at people like that, and I don't think about how much we have in common. I look and hope that my visage makes them uncomfortable. I pray that my makeup repels them from ever talking to me, so I never have to learn whether there's anythin...